Failing Marriages

These days it seems that a long life marriage is something impossible to reach. With the change of times and commercial ranks in the world, it seems that men and woman are focusing more on climbing the corporate ladder than on spending with their spouse and children.

Love is no longer a commitment and choice, but rather a mere emotions that can come and go as it fit into ones diary.

As ‘n young married woman, I learnt very quickly in the beginning of my marriage that this there are no place or time for games. A marriage is a day to day thing, it cant grow by itself, it cant exist without constant “feeding”, nurturing and realllllll hard work! I personally think that one of the most important things is accepting your life partner for who he/she is and learning more of your partner than trying to change them. So often we try to change the things that irritate us the most of our spouse, but at the end of the day, we must cherish and appreciate the differences. I now about a couple, they where exactly the same, the same personalities, same goals, same “favourites”, same thoughts, same reasoning, etc etc etc…Well, to make long story short, they where together for 6 months and then broke up, they didn’t fight a bit, they just got so bored of everything being the same that they decided to end the relationship “rather sooner than later”.

Here are one of the tools that helped me to understand my husband better. I can tell you, it totally changed the way that I understood my husband and the things that he do, and also…how I understood myself and they way I express love and need love:

Its a book called “The five love languages”, a New York times bestseller written by Gary Chapman. Basically the book is about the 5 different languages that we use to communicate love to one another and also the same “language” in which we want to receive love back. It explains in debth, why and how we react in our specific love language, how to identify your own and your spouse’s love language and how to speak your spouse’s language. Very interesting hey!

The 5 love languages that Gary Chapman explains in his book is:

• Quality time
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

While reading this book and identifying myself with the Quality Time “language” and my husband with the Physical Touch “language” i really started to understand why it seems that we “miss” each other sometimes and it also explained the emotion that we sometime experience of “not feeling loved” even though your spouse is not doing anything wrong.

This book definitely made a HUGE difference in my life and I highly recommend to anyone and everyone who hasn’t read it yet! AND, I just saw over the weekend that the book is also available on dvd, for the guys who really don’t want to read or doesn’t have the time.

If you would like to order a book or cd, you can contact Martie Liebenberg @ 084 589 8977, her prices are really good. You can also visit http://www.5lovelanguages.com

This might be the solution that you have been looking for! Good luck and enjoy every moment in your marriage!

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